by stronged

What a surreal feeling. I have just finished breaking my exegesis into paragraphs in Scrivener (using the command+K short key when you select where you want to break the document) and exported (or “compiled”, using Scrivener speak) it as a PDF that I have now sent to Adrian to have a go at reassembling into a thematic order. We will reconvene tomorrow to see what holes need filling in and where new connections need to be woven in.

After the last edit the draft is still very much in fragments. I am not certain as to there being much quality within the document any more. I feel the sense has been blasted out of it. There is much work ahead of me over the weekend. I would like to have my exegesis at the printers on Tuesday but it is now looking like Wednesday.

I doubt I will have time to source images from Dylan, who produced the Bend of Islands Land Management Plan (which has some great lists and images of flora and fauna), or take more footage from around the Bend before sending it to the printers. Formatting it into InDesign will take a while – and I do not even know what i will be formatting into InDesign!

So much uncertainty plagues the nerves at what seems to be the final hour before submission.

This last week I have felt like Adrian’s lab rat, desperately running in a wheel of drafting, editing and redrafting. I have gotten to the stage of being on autopilot when I meet up with Adrian as it is easier to agree than it is to argue my point. There is no time to argue my point. I need to get my writing to a standard that he is happy with in order to be submitted. So why argue with the gatekeeper? At this stage, all I want is to be let in so I can get on with the rest of my life.


Here are some research diary scribblings:

Evernote Snapshot 20131018 163718

Starting to think about the design of my exegesis. A cover that resembles the Placing the Bend interface is what I am aiming for.

Evernote Snapshot 20131018 163719

Naming the three versions of Placing the Bend and brainstorming some of the pros and cons of each to trigger some writing to the project.

I have not started on my conclusion yet, and still feel each version of Placing the Bend needs some polishing. So I am not without work this afternoon. Feeling like I require a night off though. Feeling exhausted after a week of early starts and late finishes. It has been relentless and my body is feeling the ramifications of such determination; lethargy, hot flushes, pimples, aching bones, fatigued muscles, and a fuzzy head. If doing a doctorate is ten times harder than Honours, count me out! (for the time being. Perhaps, over time I will have forgotten the effort needed for Honours and think I am up for the challenge of post-grad study).

I have been reflecting upon how I would have commenced this year differently in order to make for a smoother journey. I was not aware of how theoretical Honours would be. Coming from a tech background (having studied filmmaking at TAFE), I did not have the prior experience of working with theory as many of my peers have seemed to have had. I also did not fully realise how much course work would distract me from my major research project in first semester. It could be argued that these assessments helped hone my field of research, but I feel it was more of a distraction than a benefit.

Anyway, I’ll get into the nitty gritties after submission, with the final assessment, which happens to be a reflective essay!